And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)
For something that represents what I believe to be the core of all existence – our universe, our very essence, one’s primary gift to the world – the word Love is so very often misused, misidentified, misconstrued, and/or misdirected. How is it that we can say that we “love” someone while, simultaneously, declaring that we are not “in love” with that same person? Where exactly does that line of demarkation exist between only liking something and loving something? Do I really “love” the Beatles, garlic fries, and tropical sunsets – or am I grossly exaggerating the proper use of the word?
Why do we use the term “love” to describe how we respond to those Beatles songs, or that basket of hot garlic fries at a ballgame, simply because we’re receiving some type of deep satisfaction that makes us somewhat euphoric in the moment? And, if we are so liberal with the word love to describe those types of things, then how “meaningful” is it when we use the same word to describe how much we love our children? Or how much we love God?
It’s my view that, when used as a verb, love tends to lose much of the magnitude of meaning that it enjoys as a noun. Returning to the Beatles for a moment, I believe that there is much more profundity in the proclamation “All You Need Is Love” than there is in “She Loves You (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah).” Yeah, this girl might love you right now, but what happens over time, when she finds out you snore at night, or that you are still pining over an ex-girlfriend, let’s say? Her (verb-al) love for you will probably go the way of the wind. But, you sir, will still possess the basic human need to deeply feel love, whether it comes from her, someone else, or your own self.
And, there lies the rub. If we, as human beings, go through life without fully understanding that true love resides within us, then we will forever be dependent upon others to supply us with this most common, and vital, human need. In other words, how are we ever going to practice the verbs of truly loving another, or truly being in love with another, if we don’t first discover the (noun) love within our True Selves – the only place where true love exists?
Am I suggesting that much of what we think of as love is meaningless if it originates from our egoic False Self? That’s an affirmative. By definition, a false self cannot possibly understand what true love is. Since the ego is primarily obsessed with self love, it is impossible to ever give the gift of love to another in the way that he or she deserves to be loved. Such is the ultimate curse of selfish, self-centered individuals – they are simply incapable of true love, which is always a self-less act.
It’s a horrible thing when you realize that you have spent the majority of your life unable to truly love others. Usually, it’s because your primary focus has, for the most part, always been on your ego self, that character you seem to like to portray to the rest of the world, and to yourself. Unfortunately, there are those who spend an entire lifetime portraying such a tragic character, and consequently go to their graves never knowing true love. From Sophocles to Shakespeare, we have seen multiple examples of characters with tragic flaws (hamartias), oftentimes stemming from prideful egos. Who among us would actually want to emulate such tragic characters? Truth is, many of us do.
Certainly, people who are self-obsessed would find it very difficult to put others before themselves – there lies their tragic flaw. No matter how much they try to love others, even their own family members, their love of self will always trump their vain (meant both ways) attempts. As long as these “actors” insist on only portraying this false image of themselves, the rest of the world will never receive from them anything that is real or truly meaningful – they will only continue to witness these tragic actors’ performances on life’s stage. But what happens when these actors address their tragic flaws, and decidedly take steps to overcome them?
Redemption, Resurrection, Recovery – these are the gateways to the true self that have been hidden deep within these prideful actors all along. Whatever event has brought them to their knees will be the saving grace responsible for guiding these now humble individuals to the light of their true selves, where true love resides. A newfound gratitude will flow from within their souls, and grow in proportion to the degree in which their true selves are more deeply mined and nurtured. As these individuals continue to take a sledge hammer to destroy their old false selves – that selfish, egocentric, self-created actor they once were – only then will they discover that they not only possess true love within themselves . . . they are that true love!
Once we become aware that love is part of our very essence, we return to that pure, loving newborn we were when we first entered this world, spotless and uncorrupted. We re-awaken to the simple truth that we were born to be Love. Our gift to the world is to be the Love that our world needs to survive and flourish. In the same way that God sent His Son, Jesus, to be that gift to all humankind, so are we sent with the same mission. Jesus was the ultimate example of Love for us to follow. When asked to sum up God’s mission for us, He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and . . . Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31). In other words, Jesus’s primary testament to humankind was simply this: “All you need is Love.”
And He said it 2,000 years before the Beatles did.
